Just Need A Friend

The interaction between my two boys interests me to no end.  Griffin is five and Gage is two.  They are each other’s best friend and worst enemy.

My eldest has reached that age where he is becoming scared of things.  He’s cautious about people, afraid of what’s in the dark, and petrified of hydrogen peroxide.  I think sometimes he’d scream less if we just ripped his foot off instead of trying to clean the wound, but that’s neither here nor there.

Gage on the other hand is either not old enough or not smart enough to be scared of anything.  Sometimes I wonder if he ever will be.  I’ve told my wife, on more than one occasion, that Gage will be our ER baby.  He’ll be the kid that gets to know the nurses on a first name basis and have a file as thick as a quarter pound cheeseburger.  I must be partially prophetic, since Gage already holds the record for ER visits above his older brother.

Anyway, we’ve begun to notice lately, how Griffin uses his brother’s “courage” to his own advantage.  At his grandparent’s house, he’ll routinely send Gage into dark rooms to retrieve whatever toy he’s looking for.  And, despite great effort on our part to teach them the concept of privacy, he’ll ask his little brother to come into the bathroom with him while he uses it.

It’s not as if the little two-year old will be able to fight off whatever is menacing him.  Surely he knows this in his head.  Yet, the fact that he’s not alone has the calming effect he needs.

I’ve experienced something very similar in my own life.  You’ll think it sounds crazy, but before I was married, I couldn’t watch horror movies.  It was all fine until I lay down to go to sleep at night, and then the frightening images would roll back through my head.  Not so anymore.  Now that I don’t go to bed alone, I don’t have the same propensity for fear.

I’m not a psychologist so I can’t tell you why being in the presence of another human being has that effect.  Maybe it’s because I know that whatever situation comes up, I won’t be facing it alone.  Maybe it’s because I know I could outrun her if we were being chased by something.  Who knows.

What I do know, is that sometimes, it’s just nice not to be by yourself.

I don’t know how you feel about the Bible.  But a document that has survived 2,000 years has got to have something in it worth listening to.  Proverbs 18:24 tells us that there is a “friend that is closer than a brother.”  I’ve felt the closeness of a brother, and I’ve watched the closeness that my two sons share.  And I have to say, it’s a comfort to know there’s someone out there that will be even closer to me than that.

Sometimes, there’s no one around when we need them.  Yet, we’ll find if we reach out; God is always there.

Beginnings

Do you ever get that feeling that you're never going to get ahead in life? Just when you think you've got a little bit of breathing room, the water pump on the car goes out, your youngest child develops a rash the size and shape of Rhode Island (requiring an ER visit on a holiday weekend, no less), or your ten year old dog develops a medical condition that the veterinarian burns through $1,000 and never finds (turns out to be due to weight issues). The point is, your life seems to reach this equilibrium where you continually try to get your head above the waters enough to take your next breath. Depressing isn't it? It wears on you after a while.

If this sounds like your life, I've got some good news for you. I found something that helps. It's the simple fact that you are not alone. Oh, sure, it doesn't make the problems go away. It doesn't head them off before they reach you, but there's comfort in knowing that there's someone else with you. Remember back when you were a kid and the violent storms of spring came rushing in during the night, or you had those horrid dreams of werewolves running across the moonlit hills? Did you run to your parent's room? Most of us did, not that our parents could stand up and tell the storm to be still, or fight off a pack of shape shifters (unless your dad was a Navy SEAL or something). It was the mere fact of their presence that made the difference.

I hope that, as I share my life with you, you'll be able to draw strength from the fact the we're all the same, and we deal with the same issues. I'm a young father of two boys with one girl on the way, and it scares me to no end that my children will grow up to be like me. I'm a husband, trying to meet the demands of fatherhood, domestic responsibilities, and still trying to have a relationship with my wife. I'm a professional in my field, trying to balance work obligations with family time. I'm an avid video game player and cave explorer with little or no time for my hobbies.

This would all be challenging enough, without the hurdles of life popping up at random. So, I invite you to come along for the run. I'm sure you'll see a little bit of yourself in the day to day situations, and maybe even get a laugh or two as I trip over the ever rising hurdles that pop up at random. That is, if you're the type of person that finds humor in the misfortunes of others.

You know who you are.