Uh-Oh SpaghettiO's

Authors Note:  The following is a copy of an e-mail sent to Campbell’s Soup on 2/10/2011.  I hope to get a response back, and I’ll post it when I do.

Dear Campbell's Soup,

Just yesterday, I opened a can of Alphabet SpaghettiOs for my eldest son to eat.  When I saw the label claiming 'All Letters A to Z', I had to admit that I was very skeptical.  Being experts in the alphabet, as no doubt you are, I'm sure you understand the lonely plight of the letter 'Q'.  This poor, misunderstood consonant has silently suffered years of abuse and neglect from not just the local public but nearly the entire world.

For example, did you know that 'Q' is the only letter in the alphabet that doesn't appear in the name of any of the United States?  And though it's not the only one, 'Q' has been intentionally excluded from the list as a possible first letter in any Hurricane Name.  Worse than that, this meek, unassuming letter has been entirely banned in the country of Turkey under article 222 of the Turkish penal code.  Apparently it's just not "Turkish" enough!

Since Q is usually buffered from contact with other letters by U, it's been said that “the letter Q is a useless, co-dependent letter that is utterly incapable of doing anything on its own.”  That's why I'm so happy to see that your company has chosen to take a stand and not discriminate against it!  When I saw 'Q' lying on a pile of SpaghettiOs atop my son's spoon, I was overjoyed.

Though everyone is quick to judge Q for its seeming lazy attitude, I ask you, where would James Bond be without his master of gadgets, Q?  What kind of heathens would our children grow up to be if we couldn't tell them to mind their Ps and Qs?  How would NASA know the maximum point of aerodynamic stress on a spacecraft in atmospheric flight if they couldn't calculate the Max Q?

With bold steps, like your company has taken, we may someday live in a society that no longer rejects letters based on their infrequency of use.  If more industry leaders would step forward and follow your lead, and if we could get Gottlieb to re-release the arcade game Q-bert, we could very possibly correct the unjust treatment of this gentle letter.

Thank you for all you've done to advance this worthy cause.  And, by the way, the SpaghettiOs were delicious.

Sincerely,

Michael Thomas

You can read there response here.