A number of my single friends have expressed confusion as to why a normal healthy couple would want to mess up the “status quo” of their lives by having a child. Seeing as how Haven was our third attempt at creating the perfect infant, this seems to make me an authority on all progeny related questions.
In truth, I find very little use for newborns. They eat. They poop. And if you’re lucky, they sleep. Life is very boring until they start showing those first signs of personality. Once that happens, you’re in for a whole boatload of fun. Here are just a few examples of what’s in store for new parents:
Lip synching
Babies can hear sound just fine. In fact, they can hear before they’re even born. I used to regularly encourage the children to kick their mother while they were still in utero. That’s definitely not something you can get away with when they’re two or three years old. But just because the baby can hear sound doesn’t mean that they know where it’s coming from. I enjoy putting Haven down on the floor, getting right over her, and lip synching to whatever is playing on the stereo. She often lays there mesmerized. Someday this will probably backfire and I’ll have to explain to her why I don’t actually have the vocal range of Loreena McKennitt, but until then it’ll be quite entertaining.
Magic Tricks
No matter your skill level with magical tricks, the baby makes a perfect audience. Does your ‘slight-of-hand’ leave a little to be desired? Not an issue! A baby’s eyes can’t really track that fast, so you can generally make the object disappear the first time, every time, even if it takes you a couple of tries. Under the right conditions, even an ill-trained amateur could make an elephant sized object vanish without a hitch. The only drawback is that the infant is a very poor choice when audience participation is needed. It’s best to steer away from all tricks that start out with ‘pick a card.’
Fishing for Babies
I saved this fun little game for last because there is an additional requirement to it. The child has to be mobile enough to move across the floor by rolling, crawling, or some form of scooting. The idea is to put the baby down on a clean floor and then ‘cast’ a toy out in front of them. About the time they get to it, you reel the toy in a little bit and make the baby change course. You would think the child would quickly give up and get mad, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. You can get at least a good twenty minutes of entertainment of leading the baby in a circle around the living room. It’s also a great way to wear the child out before bedtime.
These are just a few of many ideas that make the baby a fun and entertaining addition to the family. If I run across any more, I’ll make sure and post them.
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