Why?

It took Griffin nearly two and a half years before he really started to talk.  Up to that point, we had begun to wonder if he was ever going to do anything besides point and grunt.  Like everything else he’s done, once he made the change, there was no going back.

Now, he jabbers all the time, unless he’s watching something on TV.  Not long after he began talking, Griffin settled on a favorite word.  It’s the bane of every parent who’s ever raised a toddler; the dreaded word, ‘Why’.  Even to this day, my ears almost bleed when I hear him launch into it.

 

If you’re not a parent, let me quickly demonstrate for you:

Me:  Griffin, pick up your toys, it’s time to go home.

Him:  Why?

Me:  Because it’s nap time.

Him:  Why?

Me:  Because you need your rest.

Him:  Why?

Me:  Because you’re tired and whiny and your attitude is bad.

Him:  Wh…

Me:  JUST PICK UP THE TOYS BECAUSE I SAID TO!

It’s such a fine line between providing the information that his inquisitive mind desires, and falling into the manipulated game of question/answer.  I don’t want to treat his questions so harshly that he decides that they aren’t worth asking.  I don’t want him to be a mindless robot that just does what I say without ever questioning, but at the same time, the constant ‘whys’ can drive you absolutely nuts!

In his younger days, I took to making him form a whole question instead of the one word ‘why’.  I’m not sure that I accomplished much except for forcing him to speak in complete thoughts.  I would guess that this has helped his communication skills to some extent, and though it might be petty on my part, I felt that if I had to work up a good answer, he should have to work up a complete question.

Now that he’s a little older, we sometimes make him think through the situation and try to arrive at the answer on his own.  It doesn’t always work, and sometimes it’s exasperating, but it’s the same concept as teaching them how to brush their own teeth or take a shower.  Its lots of work on the front end, but the payoff is worth it.

We really haven’t had the same issue with Gage.  Griffin is only too happy to inform him ‘why’ things happen the way that they do.  He’s a good big brother.

If you’re going through it, I know that it’s maddening.  It just wears you down after a while.  But, to quote the movie Evan Almighty, “Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other?”