You're Doing It Right!

I’ve only been a daddy for a little over five years now.  I’m learning as I go, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way.  I kind of feel sorry for my oldest son because he’s the one that we had to practice on.  Gage gets some of the benefits of his older brother forging a way through childhood.

Often, you wonder if you’re approaching the situation from the right direction.  You wonder if your kids are getting what you’re trying to instill in them.  Then, every once in a while, you get a glimpse that you’re headed in the right direction.

Tamara has been trying to get Gage potty trained.  Part of her training regimen is outright bribery.  Every time he pees in the potty, he gets an M&M.  Early one Saturday morning, we heard Griffin using the bathroom and flushing the potty.  The next thing we hear is Gage’s little voice saying, “You used the potty!  You get an M&M!”  Griffin replied, “I don’t get an M&M for going potty.”  Undeterred, Gage reasserted, “You get an M&M!”  Griffin started to get a little frustrated with his brother and said, “Gage, Mommy and Daddy don’t give me an M&M for going potty, and I have to obey them.”

So, I immediately got up, went to the kitchen, and gave Griffin a whole bag of M&Ms for breakfast.  I know it’s not the healthiest of meals, but when I heard that he was placing more importance on obedience than on something he wanted, I couldn’t let that go unrewarded.  That’s what it’s all about!

If he can grasp the concept that there are people in authority over him, and that he needs to obey them, then we’re preparing him for a whole host of life situations.  He’ll know how to interact with his teachers in school, how to behave when he’s at a friend’s house, how to obey the traffic laws when he begins to drive, and how to be a good employee when he’s got a job. 

Don’t misunderstand.  I’m not trying to create a mindless robot that will blindly follow whatever he’s commanded to do.  We let Griffin respectfully question our decisions, and, on rare occasions, he’s actually offered an alternative solution that we’ve considered and allowed him to do.  After all, independence and decision making are important skills too.

I say none of this to brag or try to push our parenting style onto other people.  Only to celebrate those rare occasions when your kids don’t know you are watching or listening and they make a decision to do the right thing anyway.

I hope there will be many more of these to come.