Love Bites

Haven has two teeth.  Well, at least one and a half.  As with any teething baby, she’s been a bit cranky lately.  She’s had the low-grade fever that every doctor will tell you has nothing to do with teething, accompanied by an unappeasable grumpiness that can completely frazzle a parents nerves.

Cranky Baby Look

She has, however, managed to pick up a new trick.  Despite the fact that she only has the two front lowers jutting up from her little gums, she now knows how to bite people.  I’m not quite sure how she does it.  I wouldn’t think that she could exert enough pressure with her bare upper ridge, but the facts don’t lie.  My mother was the first victim.  Carrying Haven through her house last week, she had her cradled belly-side down which gave our darling angel the perfect opportunity to go dental on Mammy’s arm.

I thought this was a bit humorous.  I mean, how often have you wanted to bite your own mother but knew you couldn’t get away with it.  Grandchildren are an entirely different matter.  Mammy will just scream and then say something like, “Oh how cute!  She has sharp little teeth!”

I, however, did not think it was quite so adorable when she latched onto my tender, bare heel whilst I was giving the boys a bath.  She had been jealously watching her brothers splash about in the tub up until the point she disappeared from my sight.  As you can imagine, her reentry into my purview came as a complete shock.

I screamed loudly, yelling, “No, Baby,” prompting my badger-child to release her toothy hold on me and sit up.  “No bite daddy,” I pleaded, entirely sure that she would hit me again the moment I turned my back.  The rest of bath time was spent with me dancing to and fro at the tub, casting nervous glances over my shoulder in fear of her next sortie against my exposed flesh.  Thankfully it never came.

I realize that babies explore the world with their mouth.  Everything goes in the mouth and gets chewed on.  And I mean everything: dead bugs, dog beds, pencil shavings, papers, and apparently nice fleshy appendages.  I just hope that we can curtail this exploratory biting before she hits her toddler years and it becomes a form of communication.  As in, “Hey there, fellow preschooler, you’ve got my favorite toy!” Om-nom-nom-nom.