The Pecking Order

I’ve touched on the various personality traits of my children before.  Despite the many hours I’ve logged studying the boys, I’m still amazed at the differences in their behavior and attitudes.  I’ve spent time reading about birth order and how it affects a child’s mental growth and the way they interact with each other.  Through all this research and observation, I have to say that Gage confuses the life out of me.

At three years of age, the family has unanimously voted him “Most Likely to Usurp the Head of Household”.  On multiple occasions, he’s called me out, claiming that he, in fact, was the daddy, and he would “spank my hiney”.  This is not an issue that concerns me too much right now, since he’s a skinny little preschooler that I can tote under one arm…but there’s a day coming.

The research I’ve done points out that Gage, as a middle child, should be the peacemaker of the family; working to bridge the gaps between all parties and bringing unity to the household.  HAH!!  Truth be told, my three year old is an opportunist, waiting to slip into any vacuum of power and seize control.  And it doesn’t matter who he has to step on to do it.  I mean that in the most literal sense.

For the longest time, he’s bullied his six year old brother, who is much too kind hearted to do anything about it.  Recently, however, Tamara instituted a new rule that anytime Gage hits Griffin, the older victim gets a free shot on the offending party.  It didn’t take very long to see this new rule blossom into full effect.

Last week, Tamara heard the outside door slam while a wailing three year old stalked to his room.  Upon probing into the situation, Gage stopped crying long enough to exclaim, “HE HIT ME BACK!!”  My wife looked the little one over and asked, “Did you hit Griffin?”  To which Gage replied, “YES, BUT HE HIT ME BACK!”  Walking outside she asked Griffin, “Did you hit your brother.”  My oldest looked up from his playing and said, “Yes, but he hit me first.”  “OK,” she replied, and walked back in.

Oh…things are a changin’!  Since that little incident, Gage has somehow managed to refrain from punching his older brother.  I guess it’s true what they say, some people learn by sight, some by hearing, some by doing, and then there are a select few that just need to have knowledge beaten into them.

Arm crossing technique at age 2

I’m happy to say that we’ve seen other improvements in Gage, as well.  Last Saturday, he got upset about something that the “supposed” leader of the house said.  Quickly, he crossed his arms, declared in a loud voice that he was not happy with me, and stalked off to his room.  Some might see this as impudence, but I see it as progress.  He didn’t throw anything, he didn’t scream, he just used verbal communication to express his feelings on the subject.

This victory in anger management, however, was very short lived.  On Sunday afternoon, the youngling and I once again found ourselves at odds.  As I calmly squatted down to correct my son on how he should and should not speak to his father, the little imp walked right up to me and kicked me in the shin.  It really didn’t hurt at all, but an action like that requires immediate correction.  Once again, Gage was not happy with me.

Obviously, we’ve still got a long way to go with this one.