The results are in! After a full week of work, recounting the year and tallying the votes, we are ready to announce the End of Year Awards for the Thomas Household. Without further ado, here are the winners:
Selective Hearing Impairment Award
This was the most heavily contested category in 2010. Brothers, Griffin and Gage, did their best to lay claim to this title, but with a little extra effort toward the end of the year, Gage Thomas edged out his older sibling for the upset. His proud father was quoted as saying, “That boy is about to drive me crazy! He acts like he can’t even hear me calling him, when I know full well that he did!”
Foot-in-Mouth Award
We go from the most heavily contested category to the least contested. With a score that was an order of magnitude larger than the next closest competitor, Michael Thomas has clinched the Foot-in-Mouth Award. “I have to thank my wife for her help and support in winning this award,” he said. “I couldn’t have done it without her constant reminder of ‘Keep digging, Buddy’, and the shoveling motions that go along with it.” He went on to warn those seeking a win in this category with one of his favorite quotes: A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Bermuda Triangle Award
We have our first female winner of the season. Tamara Thomas struggled early in the year with her efforts, but ultimately settled into her comfort zone when she focused on the computer desk. Her continued manipulation and stacking of various papers, forms, coupons, and pictures ultimately turned our workstation into a place where documents went to disappear. Sadly, we were unable to interview her before the posting of this award, but have it on good authority that her comment would have been, “Keep digging, Buddy.”
The Loch Ness Award
Mother and son fought tenaciously for the Loch Ness Award. Tamara alternated between not being able to find her keys and not being able to find ‘that coupon’ she was looking for. Gage was able to pull off a win by concentrating his efforts on his green and white polka dotted blanket (the one with a really good tag). Night after night, as we got ready to tuck them into bed, this blanket would come up missing. For being the owner of this hard to locate item, Gage pulls down his second year-end award.
Energizer Bunny Award
The second least contested award of the year goes to Griffin Thomas. He approached last year as if he had a plan in mind. He pulled off this nearly uncontested win by lobbying Mommy and Daddy really hard, with statements like, “Where are we going today” and “Can I go to Mammy and Pa’s.” His uncontested win was only in jeopardy once over the summer until Mommy put a stiff hour and thirty minute TV-time law into effect. Congratulations, Griffin!
Motel Six Award
She might be small, and she might be new, but that didn’t stop Haven Thomas from making the most of her few months in 2010. She easily pulled down the Motel Six award for her work at being active during the Late Night hours. This may very well be a one-time win for the little girl, as her sleeping patterns have already changed to 12 hours a night. And let me tell you, that’s a fact her parents are extremely happy about.
Running of the Bulls Award
One need only look at his body, full of bumps, bruises, and scratches to see why Gage Thomas has won the Running of the Bulls Award. His lack of regard for personal safety coupled with his reckless behavior is what made this win a reality. The award committee would like to point out that even though he won this award hands down, he is the only member of the Thomas family to NOT spend time in the hospital during 2010. After all, the winner of this category is not based on the amount of injury a person sustains, but how often they put themselves in harm’s way.
Old Yeller Award
We round out the award ceremony with a fan favorite, the Old Yeller Award. There are no surprises here as Piper wins for her 10th consecutive year. No family member has shown the same devotion and faithfulness as Piper Dog Thomas.
Please join me in congratulating the winners of the 2010 Family Awards. We wish them well in their efforts in the coming season.
Most entertaining awards ceremony we've been to all year! I think that Dexter would have given you a run for your money on the "Foot in the Mouth" award and might have even edged you out. There were quite a few shovels given to him this year! You guys MUST be related!! I believe next year there should be a category added.....The Black Hole Award.....who got sucked into their game and was not heard from for the longest period of time.
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